Dear Family and Loved ones,
Comfortable? Good. A lot went down this week.
I was walking down the street the other day and I saw a magazine with one of my favorite manly actors on it and he was making the most ridiculous face and he looked a bit like a fool. It got me thinking about how musicians and famous actors are always so unhappy and many times end up with a sad sad life. I realized it´s because they are always looking to please the world. They are constantly having to change who they are and are being told how to act and how to look so they can please their audience. It´s the complete opposite of what the Lord asks us to do. He warns us to seek for God and not for the things of the world. He reminds us to constantly be seeking to please Him because with an eternal perspective, it´s really all that matters. And in the end, so much easier.
I´ve been study a lot lately of how I can be a more consecrated missionary. How can I focus more on what the Lord needs me to be and how I can be more of an instrument in His hands. I can look back at the last year of my mission and see an unmistakable change the way I think and who I am seeking to please. I have realized that I shouldn´t aspire to be a "great" missionary, rather I should aspire to simply be a "servant" of the Lord. I have learned that "greatness" implies to my performance in relation to others when what´s really important is in relation to my own abilities and my past performances.
With this, I´ve been thinking about what it means to really submit my will to the Lord´s will and allow myself to be molded in His hands. He knows of my potential and He knows so much better than I do about who He wants me to become. I want to be able to kneel down at the end of these 6 months and honestly whisper to the Lord that I have done my best. I still have a lot of weaknesses and a lot to learn. But I have withheld nothing from Him. I have served and will continue to serve with all my might, mind, heart, and strength. I am faithful and giving it all I have to give.
A few notes and thoughts that I took from my studies this week.
"This way, the Lord´s way, is in the end easier. It is easier to give yourself to Him, to surrender your will to His, than it is to fight the fight within. It is easier to give yourself to Him, than it is to wrestle in your heart and soul between what you want and what the Lord wants, between the natural man and your divine nature."
Lawrence E. Corbrige once said, "If you´re not happy, if you are frustrated or resentful, look inside. It is within you. Jesus said: ´The kingdom of God is within you.¨You only need to say to the Lord in your head, " I give up. I surrender. I wont fight anymore. Here it is. Here are my desires. He is my will. I only want to do what you want me to do. Thats enough for me. That´s all I want, because it is the only intelligent thing to do. The truth is that it doesn´t take enos of time to do this. Our nature, our hearts, our desires can be changed almost immediately upon the attainment of knowledge. Our nature can change almost immediately as we come to understand true doctrine. In this instance, as you come to understand that the only way to light, intelligence, strength, capacity, peace, contentment, grace, knowledge, power, happiness, mercy, joy, and every other thing, is to follow Christ."
I am realizing more and more that there are those who give up there time and talents, and then there are others who give themselves. We know that God always blesses us many times more than the measure of what we give.
Jesus said, a hundered times more."And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name´s sake shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit eternal life." Mathew 19:29
"In the end, your heart and your will is all that you have to give that the Lord does not already have. If you give your time, two years, and your strength, you give him only what which He grants to you with each beat of your heart and each breath that your draw. If you dedicate your gifts and talents, you only return to Him what He has already given to you. If you pay tithing you only return one tenth of what he has already given you. Everything that you have to give to the Lord, has its origin in Him, except one thing: your will. He does not have your heart, nor your mind, unless you give them to Him. It is the only gift you have to offer that He does not already have. And so when you give yourself, you truly five everything to Him."
One of my favorite quotes from C.S. Lewis- The Lord says to us: "Give me all. I dont want so much of your tie, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work: I want you. All of you. I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man, but to kill it. No half-measures will do. I dont want to only prune a branch here and another there; rather I awant the whole tree out. Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them all over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will shall become your will. My heart shall become your heart." (Mosiah 3:19)
"Just give it up. Surrender your will to Him. Unconditionally. Withhold nothing. Turn it all over to Him; all of your desires, wishes, dreams and hopes. Be true and faithful in your head and in your heart, not just in your behavior. Trust in Him. Trust Him who knows all things. Trust Him who has all power. Trust Him whose love for you in perfect. Trust Him, who alone suffered, paid and atoned for your sins and for your weaknesses as well. Trust Him that He will make of you immeasurably more, than what you will ever, ever, in all eternity, make of yourself. He will create of you a masterpiece. You will create of you only a smudge. You will create an ordinary man. He will create a God."
It´s amazing how much you can learn when you have all the time in the world to serve! I realize that most of these quotes apply largly to missionary work, but the closer I get to August 22 the more I pray that I´ll never lose my desire to follow the Lord´s will. To constantly seek to serve as an instrument in His hands and to cling to an eternal perspective. I´ve discovered that life is full of so much more joy, happiness, peace of mind, and so much more sense when we seek the path and plan that Heavenly Father has prepared for each and every one of us.
This week I was given a beautiful example of what it means to faithfully seek the Lord´s will and follow his path.
Hermana Costagliola and I had the opportunity to teach a man named Augustine. (I am pretty sure I mentioned him last week) Augustine was baptized yesterday (picture next week!) after meeting with us these past 2 weeks. After his baptism he stood up and shared with us all the most beautiful and sincere testimony about his search for the truth. He explained that he left everything and everyone he knew in Africa to come to Spain about 6 years ago. Ever since he was young he always had a strong eagerness to follow Christ. He expressed in his testimony that he didn´t want to be a "boat without a direction" he wanted to be guaranteed that one day he could find his way back to his Father in Heaven. He expressed a heartfelt thanks to us as "his missionaries" and for helping him find the path "home."
Once again, my testimony has been strengthened and again I find myself in awe of the power of God´s perfect plan. I am so thankful for the opportunity that I have to share His message with so many incredible people. I am realizing more and more that Heavenly Father has prepared so many of His children to receive His truth. It´s our job to have the faith sufficient enough to go out and find them.
I know the church is true. I couldn´t imagine being anywhere else. I love you all! Thank your for your wonderful love and support.
Have a great week!
